New Ways of Eating: What I Ate Thursday

What have I been eating since I wrote my lifestyle post? I thought you'd never ask!

Organic strawberries and two large Omega-3 organic cage-free eggs, scrambled. There were more strawberries, but they went straight from the cutting board to my mouth.

I love making scrambled eggs in the microwave! I just whisk the eggs with a splash of 1% milk until they're nice and fluffy, then pop them in the microwave for 45 seconds. Whisk them some more and then finish them off with another 45 seconds in the microwave.

6 oz cup of 0% Chobani with organic blueberries, crushed toasted hazelnuts, local honey, and flaxseed oil.

A sample's worth of Barlean's Blueberry-Pomegranate Total Omega Vegan Swirl 3-6-9 Supplement is shown in the photo, but I prefer plain flaxseed oil.

A work day's worth of snacks -- organic strawberries and blueberries, 4 oz Boar's Head "Ovengold" turkey breast, and 1 Weight Watchers reduced-fat Colby Jack cheese stick.

I stocked up on reduced fat cheese sticks when I was still trying to do Weight Watchers properly, but now that I'm doing my own wishy-washy version of the "Simply Filling" technique, I find I'm once again philosophically opposed to reduced-fat cheese. Better to eat very small amounts of really good full-fat cheese, imho. Unfortunately, I still have about a dozen sticks left and my thrifty self is hesitant to just bin them. Cannot. Waste. Food.

Wild-caught salmon, baked, and served on a slaw made of shredded Napa cabbage, chayote, carrots, cilantro, and a home-made honey-mustard dressing.

This was a fabulous lunch -- I ate it for three days running with no regrets. Chayote is something new (to me) I'm experimenting with for March's Eating the Alphabet Challenge. It's crisp and crunchy -- not unlike a slightly underripe pear.

Supper? Haven't been home for supper this week, so I've just been bringing extra large portions of lunch to work and splitting them.

Also drinking lots of water and white/green/herbal tea, taking vitamins and fish oil supplements, and generally trying to steer a course toward better health.

Belated Lifestyle Changes

I know everyone else wrote their lifestyle posts at New Year's, but I'm a bit of a slowcoach. I've been mulling over certain ideas for a few weeks now and, as I write this, realize I have already implemented most of them, but I just had't been ready to codify them.

• Chose healthy fats.
• Eat more fruits and vegetables, grains and legumes.
• Buy grass-fed and/or organic meats.
• Buy wild caught fish of discoverable provenance.
• Focus on local ingredients.
• Drink more water.
• Consume less caffeine.

It's nothing groundbreaking, really. And nothing I haven't tried before. Just eat more real foods, blahdyblahdyblah. But I want to give it a real go and make a success of these thar lifestyle choices, because I haven't felt "really" or even "very" good often lately and my skin is frequently aflame with unhappiness. So. There's that.

You might think this would mean a more rigorous adherence to Weight Watchers and you'd be right ... and wrong. Calculating Points+ for every recipe I make is not only time-consuming, but also just plain annoying. So, I've given up tracking Points+ and am trying the "Simply Filling" technique. This means I eat exclusively from the Power Foods list without counting the Points+ values of those foods. I determine portion sizes and there are no Points+ to track unless I eat foods not included on the Power Foods list. So, lots of the things I want to be eating and no math unless I eat chocolate cake. Or avocados. Or olives. Or plantains.

I don't completely agree with the Power Foods list -- avocados are way better than fat-free mayonnaise (imho), but I can eat as much fat-free mayo as I like. Fruit juice must be counted, but a six-pack-a-day of diet soda is okay. Plantains are calculable. A boatload of sugar-free gelatin is just fine.

What does this mean for Savory Tart? Probably not much. I'll still be here, flinging flour around the kitchen and talking about food, but there will be less talk about bacon and 2012's month of grilled cheese madness is unlikely to be repeated. And you may anticipate a decided uptick in semi-hysterical "OMG! I bought this reallyweirdfruit/vegetable and I don't know what to do with it!" posts.

Eating The Alphabet 2013: A is for Acorn Squash & Apples

[So ... it's come to my attention 2013 The Eating the Alphabet Challenge doesn't start until February! Whoops! In my excitement, I really jumped the gun!]

Woo! It's the 2013 Eating the Alphabet Challenge! I really enjoyed last year's challenge and am chuffed it continues -- so many fruits, vegetables, legumes, and grains I haven't tried yet! So many excuses to go shopping at Whole Foods! Yeah!

For my first post, I've used acorn squash and apples. Apples aren't that exciting, but they go very well with winter squash, and winter squash is very exciting. I'm new to winter squash (except butternut, my squashy childhood BFF), but I'm trying to eat more of them as they're good for me (full of vitamins A and C and potassium) and whole ones are fairly inexpensive.

The root of this recipe can be found in Weight Watchers PointsPlus Fruits and Veggies A to Z: Get Passionate with Our 175 Delicious Recipes, but I changed it up a bit, because the original recipe lacked oomph. I think the mild sweetness of the squash is well complemented by the tart apple and sweet heat of the curry powder, but if you're not sure about curry, you might want to start with ½ tablespoon curry powder and work your way up from there.

This is an easy soup to make and it keeps well. It should freeze fine, too, if you can't eat it all now. (I've been eating mine for breakfast with crunchy toast slathered with cashew butter, because soup makes a great breakfast).

Curried Squash Soup with Apples & Leeks
Adapted from Weight Watchers PointsPlus Fruits and Veggies A to Z
Makes 6 cups. My math says 2 WWP+ per serving, but ymmv.

Ingredients
1 large acorn squash (23 oz puree)
1 large leek (4 oz sliced white and light green bits)
2 Granny Smith apples, cored, peeled and diced (11 oz apple cubes)
3½ cups organic low-sodium vegetable broth
1 Tbsp Penzeys Maharajah-style curry powder (a sweet curry blend)
Sea salt and fresh ground pepper, to taste

Instructions
Preheat oven to 400F°. Line a jelly roll pan with foil and spray with a little oil. Cut squash in half from stem to point and scoop out the seeds with a spoon. Place halves, cut side down, on prepared foil. Roast halves for about 50 minutes or until squash is easily pierced with a knife. Set squash aside until cool enough to handle.

Meanwhile, heat a French/Dutch oven or large saucepan and sauté leeks in a little broth until tender.

Scoop squash flesh from roasted halves and add to French oven with apples, broth, and curry powder. Cooking, stirring occasionally, for about 40 minutes or until apples start to break down. Remove pot from heat and let sit until cool enough to process.

Process soup with an immersion blender or whathaveyou until smooth. Season with salt and pepper to taste. If soup is too thick, add more broth.

Leeks can be sandy little buggers and you want to may sure yours are thoroughly cleaned before you cook them. I find the easiest thing to do is to give the leek a quick rinse to get any surface grit off then chop off the root and inedible dark green top and slice up the leek however I need it for cooking. Once it's all cut up, I rinse the pieces in a colander until I don't see any more grit. (Of course, the super-easy-and-lazy way is to buy bagged frozen sliced leeks, but they're hard to find).

Menu Plan Monday, 7 January 2013

It's Menu Plan Monday, Weight Watchers style! Which basically means that I'm following Weight Watchers' "Week 1: First Steps" meal plan for lunches and suppers. Breakfasts and snacks do not follow the plan, because 1) I still have a shedload of Vitabun sandwiches in my freezer (they went on sale, again, so I had to buy them, again) so there's breakfast for the next millennium and 2) I ran a little mad with optimism while clicking about on Peapod and overbought fruit so every snack is fruit (plus reduced fat cheese and pretzel crisps or crackers, because I love me my crunchy, salty carbs).

I had two glasses of wine last week, which is a considerable improvement over the last two weeks in December where it felt like every day was a drinking day. It's not that I want to give up drinking ... it's just that I prefer to eat my points. Fried chicken trumps wine, even if wine is "better" for me.

Blah, blah, blah ... nobody cares. Well, my doctor cares, but not that much since (aside from the weight I regained over the past year *shakes fist at universe*) I am in fine health.

Menu!

Monday
Wild salmon fillet roasted with tomatoes and leeks over rice (brown for me and jasmine for The Husband) and tossed salad (plus garlicky steamed baby spinach for me).

Tuesday
Tuna bulgur salad (tuna, bulgur, baby spinach, bell pepper, cucumber, scallions, light balsamic vinaigrette) with kiwi, reduced fat cheddar stick, and pretzel crisps.

Wednesday
Boneless pork loin chops with whole wheat pasta in low-sodium tomato sauce and steamed green beans.

Thursday
Tuna pasta salad (tuna, whole wheat rotini, red cabbage, sugar snap peas, light balsamic vinaigrette) with kiwi, reduced fat cheddar stick, and nut thins.

Friday
Baked chicken breasts with tossed salad and baked potato (sweet for me and white for The Husband).

Saturday/Sunday
Weight Watchers chicken burgers on toasted white whole wheat rolls with fajita-style peppers and onions, low-fat shredded cheddar, and a tossed salad.

Menu Plan Monday: 31 January 2012

It's Menu Plan Monday, Holiday Regret Edition! Here I am optimistically posting a healthy and nutritious menu as if that will magically undo all the drinking, stress-snacking, and comfort-food-binging I've engaged in since the clocks shifted back.

Monday (New Year's Eve -- half day)
"Baked Lemon Caper Salmon" (use boneless steaks instead of fillet) with baked potatoes and roast asparagus.

Tuesday (New Year's Day -- off)
WW Best Darn Food Ever's "Chicken Pizzaiola With Torn Basil and Capers" with whole wheat spaghetti and tossed salad.

Wednesday
WW's "15-Minute Skillet Cassoulet" (halved but use the full amount of tomato paste, thyme, and garlic) with tossed salad.

Thursday (work)
BLTE salad -- chopped romaine, halved cherry tomatoes, chopped red onion, 1 hard-cooked egg, 1 serving low-fat blue cheese, 1 serving bacon pieces, drizzle red wine vinegar, olive oil, black pepper.

Friday (off)
WW Tastier Than Takeout's "Rosemary Chicken with Fresh Tomato and Balsamic Sauce" with steamed green beans and whole wheat pasta.

Saturday (work)
WW Tastier Than Takeout's"Spicy Tortellini and Roast Tomato Soup" with garlic ciabatta sticks and tossed salad.

Sunday
Homemade pizza (topped with mozzarella, Cabot Seriously Sharp, sweet corn, tuna, red onion) with tossed salad.

Weight Watchers: Talking to Myself

I took Weight Watchers' Helpful Habits quiz. It's supposed to help me discover small changes I can make in order to "Eat Wisely, Move More, and succeed at weight loss." I don't know about discovering small changes, but the quiz did indicate I need to:

• Decide where I'm headed and set realistic, attainable, long-term weight goals
• Make sure my environment -- my car, my kitchen, my desk -- is set up to encourage wise food and activity choices
• Use my weight-loss experience to help my find what really works for me -- and what doesn't

Hrm.

Dear Self:

Eat out less. Don't do takeout. Menu plan all the live long day. When you know what and when and where you're going to eat then you don't eat stuff you don't really want, but it's right in front of you and you're kinda-sorta-hungry. And, on a similar note, you cannot bring too many snacks to work. Anything you bring in will be healthier than what you can get from the vending machine.

Eat supper at the dining room table. You were doing really well having supper at the table most nights and then the dining room table "somehow" morphed back into Table Covered in Stuff and you went back to eating in front of the television. You know eating in front of the television leads to hours of Netflix viewing and Internet surfing and, whoops, no time for physical activity before bed. Eat at the table.

Use the treadmill. Your body feels better when you get regular activity. Your hip doesn't hurt. Your knee doesn't twinge. You feel stronger and more able. So use the treadmill, already!

All candy goes in the candy cupboard. Fill your desk drawer with healthy snacks. Ditto the car. Yes, the car. Don't be embarrassed about being a fat lady with snacks in the car. Put snacks in the car so you don't eat something you don't really want later because you're peckish and it's there.

Say no to The Husband's evening offer of ice cream, etc. Learn to freakin' ignore his fast food. You cannot eat as The Husband eats and gain health. You know this. Forge your own foodie path. (But also avoid becoming a complete judgy-pants about what he eats).

Set a short-term goal that make sense to you. Don't discuss your goal with anyone. Just set one and keep it close to your anxious little heart. And, for Pete's sake, don't join a Challenge. You'll just freak yourself out. One goal. Just one. That is yours alone.

kthxbai

Weight Watchers: Week 4 Musings

I'm tracking my PointsPlus and Healthy Checks, losing weight, and gaining fitness. While I admit I get a thrill every time I weigh-in less than the week before, part of me worries about that loss. I've read books about the weight loss industry and I see the posts on the Weight Watchers forums by people who have rejoined for the umpty-umpth time and swear it will work this time and I really wonder what it means for me on my second go-round with dieting.

Is long term weight loss possible? And can that loss be maintained in a way I will find satisfying? Also, how much weight do I really want to lose? Do I want to be socially thin? Or do I want to be healthfully fit?

Healthfully fit. I want to see if losing weight, more mindful eating, and increasing activity will lower my blood pressure and reduce my risk of developing Type 2 diabetes. The first part seems easy to judge -- either my blood pressure improves after losing 50 pounds or it doesn't. However, high blood pressure and diabetes both run in my family so weight loss, mindful eating, and increased activity may accomplish nothing. Nada. Zilch. I could weigh 120 (nfw!), still have high blood pressure, and still develop diabetes.

Weight Watchers: I Drank the Kool-Aid

I rejoined Weight Watchers in May. At that time, I also started a private blog where I wrote about my experience. Keeping three blogs going at the same time is ... complicated ... and so I have closed my weight loss blog and imported the posts into Savory Tart. Aside from October's posts ("The Month That Never Was") they're all publicly visible now.

I apologize to feed subscribers who might have been spammed with updates when the imported posts went public. I didn't realize that would happen.

Savory Tart is not going to turn into a weight loss or diet blog. I am not going to start chirping about "diet food" or the terribleness of fatz.

Weight Watchers: Week 3 Overview

Every week, Weight Watchers gives you a "To Do" list depending on where you are in the program. This week, I was supposed to:

1. Find out what everyday activities you can track
"Housework, low effort" is 1 Point for 10 minutes! So my regular Saturday housekeeping blitz counts for something.

2. Measure three foods you normally "eyeball"
Rice, butter, olive oil -- my "eyeball" turns out to be pretty close!

And yet I have become obsessed with weighing things. Everything goes on my kitchen scale now -- regardless of how confident I may feel about guesstimating, I know the scale will always be more accurate.

(Weight Watchers was selling a set of pretty, metal measuring scoops/serving spoons a few months ago which I did not buy and now see are no longer for sale).

3. Get the scoop on good habits from Weight Watchers veterans
I read the article the question links to ("Community Talks: Advice for Newbies") and it didn't tell me anything I didn't already know, but then this isn't my first time on Weight Watchers.

I'm actually trying to avoid reading unofficial Weight Watchers stuff as I don't want to get distracted from my journey or start second-guessing my choices based on what someone else says works for them.

First, gain a sense of mastery. Then, see what everyone else is up to.

4. Complete your Community Profile
It's as done as it's going to get, I think.

5. Track your healthy checks
I've been trying very hard to do this since Week 1. I'm very good about taking a multivitamin and getting my recommended amounts of water and fruit/vegetable, but dairy and healthy oils are a real problem for me. I can manage yogurt at breakfast, but that's about it. I take a fish oil supplement and usually cook with olive or safflower oil, anyway, and I figure that's good enough for me even if it isn't exactly what Weight Watchers might want.

Little steps.

Overall, this week was okay. Thursday was Thanksgiving, of course, where I ate my Daily PointsPlus and then some, but was back on track on Friday. I don't think I gained any weight, but I also doubt I lost any. Will just have to see what Sunday's weigh-in brings.

Weight Watchers: Week 2 Overview

Every week, Weight Watchers gives you a "To Do" list depending on where you are in the program. This week I was supposed to:

1. Track your weight
I'm pretty sure Weight Watchers didn't mean I should weigh myself every two days, but that's what I did! Couldn't help myself! The charm will wear off eventually, I'm sure.

2. Create a meal in the PointsPlus tracker
I favorited a bunch of foods I use all the time in the tracker and added a breakfast "meal" -- 8 oz FAGE Total 0% with 8 oz homemade, unsweetened applesauce. (I make the applesauce in my slow cooker, portion it into cups, and freeze it until needed).

3. Make one small change to a favorite meal/snack
I've started using Cabot 50% and 75% reduced fat cheeses on sandwiches and crackers instead of the full fat kind. There's a taste and texture difference, but it's not as bad/strong as I'd feared.

4. Stock your pantry perfectly
Aside from all the ☠☠☠ my husband eats while I'm at work, I stocked it pretty darn well. Plenty of fruits and vegetables, low-fat dairy, lean meat, grab-and-go low PointsPlus value frozen meals. A lot of the items listed in the article are items I already own/use, anyway.

5. Check that your weight-loss expectations are realistic
Weight Watchers wants me to lose more weight than I'm currently comfortable thinking about! I'd be happy to see 180 lbs, but Weight Watchers thinks my healthy weight range is 109-137 lbs. ATM, I'll just focus on my 10% Target (204.8) and worry about the rest later.

Overall, I'm happy with how Week 2 turned out. I'm definitely more comfortable using the Plan Manager, am generally feeling more confident about my journey to better health and fitness, and I'm pretty sure I lost weight! (Official weigh-in is Sunday morning, so I will find out then).


Onwards to Week 3 ...

Weight Watchers: Week 1 Overview

Every week, Weight Watchers gives you a "To Do" list depending on where you are in the program. During Week One, I was supposed to:

1. Take a "before" photo, and track your measurements
Yes, I did this. No, I'm not sharing that information here.

2. Track what you eat
Chants: "The Plan Manager is my friend. The Plan Manager is my friend. The Plan Manager is my friend ..."

3. Plan the best weight-tracking strategy for you
When I went to meetings, I weighed-in on Tuesdays. Now that I'm on my own, I'm moving my weigh-in day to Sunday as weekends are Fraught with Peril and I frequently make poor food choices.

Also, I really need to work on only weighing myself on my weigh-in day. Hopping on and off the scale all week is only going to make me batty in the long run.

4. Build your Favorites
Added products/foods I use most often to my Favorites -- includes many boutique grocery items Weight Watchers doesn't have points calculated for, like Nutella.

5. Clean your fridge and cupboards, and fill them with healthy food
I cleaned and reorganized my kitchen, making the better-for-me-choices more prominent, but I didn't toss anything that wouldn't meet with Weight Watchers's approval as a) I am not the only person in my house and binning the Oreos would be seen as an act of war and b) I can't stand the idea of throwing away food that is still edible.

Weight Watchers: Starting Over, Again

Starting over with Week One of Weight Watchers Online as if it were for the very first time I'd ever joined Weight Watchers. Weight Watchers-wise, October never happened and I have deleted all posts that might suggest otherwise.

I will not let others sabotage me. I will not sabotage myself. I will stay on plan. I will become stronger and healthier.

And, whenever I think "I can't do this," I will put on my goggles and cackle the mad cackle of a goggle-sporting subjugator of worlds to whom nothing is impossible.

Weight Watchers: A Weight Loss Miracle

I lost 2.2 pounds this past week! I don't really know how I did it as I managed to eat almost all my Weekly PointsPlus Allowance Saturday and Sunday. That's my daily 33 plus the 49 weekly "bonus" points. It was all delicious though -- especially the cherry pie milkshake with read whipped cream -- and I didn't regret eating any of it. I just expected to not lose very much, if any, weight.

But I lost 2.2 pounds! I was amazed. And very happy.

Less happy when I logged my weight at Weight Watchers Online and received this message:

You’re probably excited to be losing weight, but you’re losing faster than is recommended. Although it’s normal to lose over 2 lbs in one week, if you lose more than an average of 2 lbs per week over a 4-week period, this could pose health risks, such as heart irregularities, anemia or loss of muscle mass. Please slow your weight loss; your doctor can help you do this if you’re not sure how.

Gee, thanks. Now I'm not just supposed to worry about health issues attributed to obesity,  I'm supposed to worry about health issues attributed to weight loss!

Weight Watchers Weigh In: Moving in the Right Direction

Well, it's definitely down from Sept 1 when I weighed 227.4. Another 4.6 and I'll have lost 20 pounds since May! Should I reward myself for losing 20 pounds or is the weight lost and the sense of fitness gained sufficient rewards in themselves?

Also, and this is a bit of a stinker, Weight Watchers Online only tracks my weight loss from the day I signed up. I mean, yes, that makes sense, but it means that my 10% goal is now further away and ... it makes me feel a wee bit frustrated. As if the work I've done doesn't count and I'm starting all over again. I'm trying not to get obsessive with numbers as that isn't why I started I this journey. I wanted to be healthier and more fit and I am getting there so it doesn't really matter what Weight Watchers thinks my goals are as long as I keep mine?

Weight Watchers Weigh In: Home

I weighed in Tuesday morning -- the day after I returned from vacation -- and that was a terrible, terrible idea. Jet-lagged, dehydrated, and strung out from too many days with too little sleep, I cried a little when the scale read 231. Oh, I knew I would gain some weight back while on vacation but sliding back into the 230s was more than I could bear. It was so hard to get into the 220s. I never wanted to see the 230s again.

Unsurprisingly, after a few days of more regular living, my weight has slid down to 228 which, while still more than I weighed before I went on vacation, is at least on the right side of 230.

Do you know that UK scales measure weight in stones? Yes! Just for kicks, I weighed myself on my in-laws' scale and it said "16 3" and I was all "what the flying fish sticks?" at my husband who very kindly condescended to explain stones to his ignorant American wife. I weighed 16 stone 3 pounds which, when calculated into pounds was about right as 1 stone = 14 pounds. Of course, for the rest of the day, I found myself singing my own version of "16 Tons."

You weigh sixteen stone what do you get
Another day fatter and bigger in butt.
Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the chip butty man.

Anyway, for the next two weeks, my plan is to get back on track -- eat properly, ease back into activity, and focus on my January goal. I can do this. I've been doing it for months now, after all.

And just for kicks, here's me a year ago:

And here's me last week:

Well, I see a difference and it's more than a haircut and new glasses.

Weight Watchers: Fine About Failure

Today is September 1st and the end of my short-term challenge to lose 17 pounds in 17 weeks. I didn't lose any weight since my last weigh-in -- still at 227.4 -- so I missed my goal by 1.4 pounds. I could, I guess, be upset by this, but I am not. I still managed to lose 16.4 pounds in 17 weeks and that's nothing to sneeze at. No one else may see the difference 16.4 pounds makes, but I certainly see and feel it.

When I return from vacation, I'll sign back up with Weight Watchers (probably monthly this time as there's a "get one month free" special on through Sept 17) and start plugging away at my next short-term goal -- 215 by January 31. It's doable, I think, and if it's not ... there's the rest of my life. The weight, health issues, and lack of fitness all came on gradually and that's how they're going to go away.

Weight Watchers: Husband Gets Fit?

We popped into Dick's Sporting Goods on Saturday as we happened to be in the area and I remembered I still had a $15 gift card. Didn't end up using it, but did spend about twenty minutes testing out various fitness bikes with The Husband who admitted he'd like to get more exercise, but dislikes our treadmill as he finds it monotonous and would prefer an exercise he could perform sitting down without a lot of effort on his part!

I admit I found his honesty hilarious -- ideally, I'd love an exercise I could do while asleep -- but that's not how it works. Still, we did discuss the merits of the different bikes on display and, if he's still interested after we come back from vacation, maybe we'll get one. He's a very sedentary person and I worry about him. It would really, really shit to get myself all fit and healthy only to see him fall apart.

Weight Watchers Weigh In: So Close

Weighed in at Weight Watchers today and I am down another 1.2 pounds which means I "only" have 1.4 to go to get to my September 1 goal. September 1 is next Thursday. Can I lose 1.4 pounds between now and then? I think I might as long as I carefully track Points+ and keep up with activity. Oh, and don't eat any of the deep-fried yumminess at the county fair this Saturday!

Oh, deep-fried brownies, you are wickedly delicious. I know I shall be seduced into tasting you, but that is all you well get from me -- a taste and no more. I will not eat an entire deep fried brownie on my own! I will share one with husband. Probably.

To keep myself motivated to reach my short-term goal and then keep on trucking to my penultimate goal, I bought Weight Watchers Punch fitness kit. It comes with adjustable (pink) weighted gloves that actually fit my tiny hands, a DVD with 3 workouts, and a 10 week exercise tracker. It cost $26 dollars and I think it'll be worth the cost as I really like boxing on our Wii, but it's hard to turn Wii boxing into a full on workout!

Now is the August of my Discontent

Tonight's walk felt completely unproductive. At every intersection, I had to force myself to keep going and not just turn back. I was cross with my husband. I was cross with myself. There was just not a whole lot of happy going on. Oh, Internets, I am all out of sorts this week. My body still feels all lurgy from last week, I'm not sleeping well, I'm never going to find decent pants, and my husband is driving me a little crazy.

*waves hands in air exasperatedly*

The only time my husband ever mentions my weight loss is to joke that I'm going to get thin and leave him. Now, I ask you, how am I supposed to be anything but insulted by that? I couldn't do better as a fat girl than to marry someone completely crap like him? What???

Is he feeling insecure because he sees me making these lifestyle changes and feels he doesn't have a say in them? In the beginning, I tried talking to him about Weight Watchers and exercise, but he made it clear he wasn't interested so I stopped talking about them. I know the changes I'm making are for me, first and foremost, but his happiness is my happiness. I don't want him to feel insecure (if that's what the problem is) and I really want him to stop making terrible jokes.

Meh

I am embarrassed to see it's been almost two weeks since my last post. I must admit I haven't been following Weight Watchers very closely and, oh, I have been embarrassed to talk about my failure to stick to my plan when I have been doing so well. I feel like I've spend the past twelve days sabotaging myself -- I made imprudent food choices and I did not keep up with activity.

The first two weeks of August are restaurant week in my neck of the woods and lots of great places serve up some really interested prix fixe meals. We don't go out much, but restaurant week is a pretty firm tradition for us. We went out five times for restaurant week. Ate incredibly delicious things. I don't regret eating any of it and would happily eat it all again. Then, Saturday was our twelfth wedding anniversary and we ate out at the Cheesecake Factory and it was really good and I don't regret it, either.

But it's hard to reckon the Points+ values for most of what I've eaten and, after a few meals, I just gave up tracking anything after 5 pm. Seriously. That lovely white sangria with the peach slices? It was recorded as "many." As was the hazelnut gelato drowned in a shot of amaretto. And the fried mozzarella-stuffed zucchini blossoms. All "many." Too many, even with my Flex Points.

Still, I don't regret any of those meals. I knew what I was getting into when I saw the August calendar. What I regret is the weird sort of apathy that seized me toward the end of last week where I stopped eating sensibly or mindfully between restaurant meals and just started eating any ol' thing that came my way. Candy leftover from programs, cake leftover from a coworker's birthday, the crushed up salty goodness at the bottom of a bag of chips, the fries from Five Guys, and such ... I didn't really want any of them. But I didn't not want them, either.

I also stopped doing any activity. After Thursday, when I did 1.3 miles on the treadmill and then a 1.2 mile walk around the neighborhood with my husband, I did nothing.

And now I feel, going into this shiny new week, sick and restless. Tired of myself, even. I need to resume my new normal life pattern -- the one that involves regular activity and more healthful food choices -- before I undo this summer's work.

But I really don't want to weigh in on Tuesday!